How to write a letter of affirmation to your child is one of the best questions to ask as a parent.
You should not get carried away by your parental duties so much that you forget about the little things that matter most to your child.
Before we get into the explanations. Here are things to consider before writing a letter of affirmation to your child.
- Focus is very important
- Be honest about how you feel
- Do not bother about the length of the letter but the quality.
As a child, I remembered that the little things mattered most to me than the big toys my parents bought for me on my birthday and on Christmas.
Little things like hugging me, kissing me on the forehead, saying something sweet to me, and other sweet little things.
I remember my dad’s words every time. He would always tell me that “You are the best there is and there would ever be, never think less of this Isaac”.
I heard these words from my father when I was 5 years and for more than 2 decades, these words have shaped my life and kept me confident of the future no matter how hard things get.
This is how important the little things are to children.
Furthermore, one of the best things you can do for your child is to use words of affirmation for her/him. Either through verbal words or written words, just ensure you use words of affirmation for your child constantly.
This is very important and cannot be sidelined.
A lot of parents get carried away with the hustle of trying to fend for their children and get them in a very good school. However, they forget that most of the characters and mindsets of children are formed by their parents.
How to write a letter of affirmation to your child must be very important to you if you want to successfully raise a child that would be confident, bold and that would have good self-esteem.
Letters of affirmation are good for children because it shapes how they perceive themselves. It also gives them a healthy mindset that would help them relate confidently among others.
Help your child today by writing a letter of affirmation to him/her.
How you can really write a letter of affirmation to your child
Writing a letter of affirmation to your child is very important. This is one of the best gifts your child can get from you. Affirmative words stay with children for a lifetime.
I was once a kid and I know what affirmative words can do to a child (most especially at a tender age of 4-8 years).
How to write a letter of affirmation to your child is very simple and not complex. As a matter of fact, nothing can be too hard for you to do for your child as long as it would be of benefit to him/her.
Writing a letter of affirmation to your child can be done by following the simple steps below:
Focus is key
This is very important. Don’t write a letter of affirmation to your child without a focus. You need to know what exactly you want to write to your child about. This is very important and you need to pay attention to it. There are some questions you need to ask yourself before you start writing the letter of affirmation to your child.
- How do I want my child to feel when he/she reads this letter
- Is it love?
- Is it confidence?
- Is it to encourage?
- Is it to show support for his/her dream?
- Is it to make him/her happy?
What exactly is it that you want your child to feel? This question is very important. Once you know what you want your child to feel after reading the letter of affirmation, then you can proceed to the next important question of how to write a letter of affirmation to your child.
- What is my child going through that I need to address?
This is another question you must be able to answer. Sadly, a lot of parents are not even close enough to their children.
A lot of parents don’t even know what their children are going through in school.
This is one of the reasons why a lot of children abandon their parents at teenage years. I know how this feels a little bit.
As a child, it is frustrating when your parents do not know how you feel and cannot relate to how you feel. It is even more frustrating when you want to talk to them, but they are not available to listen to you.
This is why it is important that you create enough time for your child. This is an important factor to consider before answering this question correctly.
Once you know what your child is going through, it would help you to know how to coin your words the right way in order for it to have the right impact.
Question 1 and 2 go hand in hand.
These questions are very important and once you can answer them, they would help you set a strong and effective focus which would enhance your ability to write an affirmation letter that would hit the right chord within your child.
The first thing on how to write a letter of affirmation to your child is FOCUS.
Be honest about how you feel
After setting the right focus, then the next thing to do is to write.
However, you must be honest with whatever you write. Our heart is mostly reflected in what we write or say and people can tell if we are speaking from our hearts or not. Kids are intelligent and can tell if dad or mum is lying or not.
This is why you must be careful not to exaggerate your words. Be honest in your letter. This would make your child trust every word he/she reads in that letter and take it to heart.
It would have broken me if I realized that my dad never said those words to me out of sincerity. Don’t do this to your child. Don’t write out of dishonesty. Let your letter of affirmation reflect your heart in its pure and real form.
Let it reflect your true love and concern for your child. This would go a long way in causing your letter of affirmation to have the right effect on your child for a long time.
From my years of having personal sessions with parents, one of their worst fears is that their children would react negatively if they (the parents) ever revealed their vulnerability and true love to them (their children).
However, a lot of teenagers have opened up to me that the one thing they regretted is that they never saw true love in their eyes, actions, and words of their parents.
You can bridge that gap as a parent today.
Put down your defenses and get real with your child while writing that letter of affirmation and you would be surprised at how it would transform your child and give him/her such joy and encouragement he/she has been looking for.
Long or short does not matter. What matters is the quality of the letter.
This is particularly true when it comes to writing letters of affirmation to your child.
My mum is more of a less-talking individual. She is more silent than every other person in the house. While I was in preparatory school, I failed one of my subjects and I cried bitterly.
The next term, when I got to school, I saw a letter written and slipped into one of my textbooks. The words on the letter were so few but powerful. It reads thus:
YOUR GRADE SHEET DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. I KNOW YOU ARE INTELLIGENT. YOU DON’T NEED TO PROVE IT TO ME. YOU ARE BORN FOR GREATNESS. I CAN’T BE MORE PROUD OF YOU.
Mum.
These words broke me and I cried. I hugged the shit of my mum when I got back home. Guess what? I never made anything less than a C in my subjects again.
Those words still ring in my head and I am going to tell them to one of my kids someday.
This is my point. You don’t need to write long words or short words in order to get your child to see your love and concern for him/her.
All you need to do is to fill your letter of affirmation with powerful words that has a lot of positivity in them.
Don’t ever use words that would make your child doubt what you have written.
An example of it is:
You are intelligent, but I am surprised that you failed math.
That’s is bad. Don’t do this. Your child knows his/her weakness. You don’t need to amplify it. All you need to do is to amplify his/her strengths. This is very important.
Your letter of affirmation must be filled with positive words and nothing else.
This is why it is called a letter of “AFFIRMATION”. The letter is meant to magnify the strength and goodness in your child.
The letter is meant to show your child that you love and trust him/her. Don’t put in any word that would make your child doubt you.
If you can follow these simple guidelines, you would write great letters of affirmation to your child that would produce the right result.
Benefits of writing a letter of affirmation to your child
There are many benefits of writing a letter of affirmation to one’s child.
How to write a letter of affirmation to your child is a great way of becoming a good parent. A single letter of affirmation can change the course of your child’s life for good.
My parents wrote 100s’ of letters to me. They spoke a lot of words to me. I don’t remember them all.
I only remember the specific ones that struck the right chords in me when they said them or when I read them.
When you write a letter of affirmation to your child, these are the benefits:
- It would improve the relationship between you and your child
Since your child now knows that you love and care for him/her, then it would cause him/her to trust you and begin to open up to you about their secrets and all other stuff.
In essence, a letter of affirmation to your child would help you perform a better job as a parent to your child.
Children find it hard to open up most especially if they begin to sense that they are not loved or don’t want to be listened to or understood. A single letter of affirmation can change this totally.
- Your child would become happy and joyful. This would suppress depression or any potential thoughts of suicide or other harmful habits.
- Your child would grow confident and not develop low self-esteem. Knowing how good you are is a confidence booster. Now, imagine hearing it from your parents? The effect is magical.
- Your child would feel loved and never neglected again. This helps his/her mind positively. Furthermore, it would never make him/her desperate to have friends.
The benefits are much. However, the ones listed above are the major and most important benefits of writing a letter of affirmation to your child.
Sample Affirmation letters to a child
Let me help you.
I would give you some samples from which you can choose to write yours. I hope this helps you greatly on your journey of becoming a better parent to your child.
“You can be the best you ever want to be. Never think less of this _____ (input the name of your child).
With Love,
Dad/Mum.
“I have the most amazing son/daughter (depending on gender). You are so beautiful that all the ladies/guys (depending on gender) would want to be your friend. I love you my prince/princess (depending on gender).
From your proud dad/mum
“Nothing can change how I feel about you. I LOVE YOU and that is all that matters to me in the world. I am proud to be your parent. You have brought so much joy and peace to my life and I would cherish you forever.
With Love,
Dad/mum.
From these samples, you can write great letters of affirmation to your child and achieve great results.
How to write an affirmation letter to your child has been made easy by this article. The only thing you need to do is to implement everything I have written to you.
Do not let your affirmations be of your predictions but of your possibilities.
